I'm going to lean upon my martial arts background for a few pertinent responses.
- Black belts are simply white belts that never quit
Many, if not most, people assume that someone who has earned the rank of black belt had some amazing athletic talent that led them to that achievement. And while there are some gifted athletes in those ranks, many black belts are practitioners who simply never gave up; who never stopped learned; and who enjoyed the path they were on.
While developers don't break boards or even bits, the fundamental message still applies. The best developers are those who never quit learning; who never quit having a passion for the work they are doing.
Being recognized as a "master programmer" may take longer to achieve without some of the aspects that you mention, but it's certainly doable.
- Perception drives reality
Another aspect worth considering is that your perception of other developers may be biasing your judgements about your own development skills.
Having an XYZ degree may have provided you with more development training, yes. Working for Acme Corp may expose you to more interesting technologies. But a training deficit can be overcome and the truth is that many, many developers stop learning the day they graduate. Bonus points to you for understanding that the developers craft requires lifelong learning. Continuous learning is an end, not a means.
Likewise with technologies. Pick one that interests you; dive deeply into it so you understand many of the nuances and complexities. That will stand you in greater esteem than most common practitioners who simply use that tech to get a job done.
- Memberships / community / social aspects
There are a number of mechanisms to fulfill these requirements. Local, national, and international organizations all exist - IEEE is one org that comes to mind, but there are certainly many others. High quality Q&A sites like Stack Exchange are another option. CodeReview.stackexchange does exist and is a reasonably useful area for review of code. Likewise, SE Chat rooms are additional source for interaction with like minded professionals. There were comments recently within The Whiteboard to the effect of the daily banter being more enlightening than a college course. There's some truth to that.
- "feedback to the real world"
Honestly, the only
feedback to the real world that you need is a project you are interested in contributing to. And for that matter, it doesn't even have to be all that long of a commitment. Many communities host code-a-thons to benefit a local organization. Look those up and see what connections you can create from that. They're usually an open, congenial environment.
"Feedback to the real world" is only important if you're wanting to explicitly leverage that experience to find a different job. As you might be suspecting by this point, I'm suggesting something different. Find something that sparks your passion, even if just for a little while, and pursue that. Rinse and repeat; with each cycle your skills will become better. Seek feedback and guidance from those who benefit from your work. Use professional contacts to review and guide the quality of your code.
Finally, don't be embarrassed by your path. Every path is different and each one has its unique values along with its challenges. Honestly, I'm more impressed by someone who owns their path and strives to continue learning than I am with someone who puts no effort in.