The word pride actually has two meanings. One is being too proud to do something, the other means being proud of what you have done.
In the end, they do kind of mean the same, because the first means to be too proud of yourself.
A big problem is, that people take everything personally, because they are too concerned with themselves. This is one reason, why critisism is generally not well accepted, even if it an act of pure honesty.
There is nothing wrong about being proud of things you accomplished. But being proud of yourself can easily become one. Your self is not really an accomplishment. "All" you can achieve in that "field" is having tried to do things right and having tried to get better at that. And to "just" be a good person. You won't neccessarily always get credit for it, but it is something, you can definitely be proud of.
I am proud about some things I did, satisfied with some, sorry for some and some I am ashamed of. But apart from a few exceptions, I use none of these to measure my personal value. I use quite a few of them to measure my competence (or incompetence), which is at best losely coupled with my self-esteem.
When it comes to professional conflicts, it is important to have a clear picture of ones skills and experience. Not about how you'd like to be or would like others to think of you. It is important to try seeing your competence and that of your peers the way they are. Being overly humble risks your competence being unused, which can effectly mean a negative impact on the final result. Being overly confident goes just as wrong, but I suppose that's no news.
The ego is a weird thing. It is a picture of ourself, built up for us and others to believe in, to achieve higher social status. This is a very instinctive process, that can do a lot of damage. It is a simple drive evolution has given us (that appearently prooved fit). There is nothing wrong in satisfying such "lowly" needs, i.e. pleasing your ego, having a good meal (or doing the kind of thing that happens rarely to programmers :D).
What you must not do, is letting such drives guide your decision against your conscience and the best of your knowledge. You should not satisfy your need for social recognition at the cost of others or the community in question. But you shouldn't feel bad for longing for it or for accepting it, when you deserve it.
What I am trying to say is, I don't think you should try being a coding monk. The idea is nice, but I don't think it can work, especially in a world as ours.
Thrive for excellence and superiority (over yourself and even peers and mentors), but not by attributing less value to the work of others, but by becoming better youself. Understand people in your entourage as a valuable source of knowledge and as a fine measure to reflect upon your own personal progress. The more people you truly respect, the easier it is to get feedback that you can rely on.
And don't forget, that above all, we are human beings. Our life is short, our knowledge limited. Don't take things too serious.