Note that female or gay programmers do not mind working with hunky guys at all.
Ok, which one of these two guys looks like a real programmer? #1 or #2?
As someone made in USSR who is not a fan of Putin or other Russian B.S., I imagine that you have developed pretty good bullshit filters by now. Try to keep them clean and well maintained.
The thing is that bullshit is a universal thing. You DO NOT look like a programmer, even if you become 10 kilos overweight. If you learn to talk smoothly, to shut up when needed, you can be fairly successful with women.
In monkey societies an alpha male is pretty much determined by the way he looks. We are partly monkeys, but it is more complicated than that - looks for a guy is not the only thing that matters. Now ... a typical programmer is not particularly social, and is not much of a player. People who have bonus non-technical skills, such as bubbly personality, good sense of humor, etc., can score a better position in life than just a mere code pounder (at least this is true in many rich western countries).
Those who remain programmers, are typically not very social, not particularly good flirts, not that successful with women. YOU are being perceived as a threat.
I imagine I will be down-voted very quickly, for I have just offended just about everyone on this site, probably including women. But, love it or hate it, that is pretty much how the world works. Better looking politicians score more votes. Better looking criminals are less likely to be convicted (that is the reason why a defendant is placed as far as possible from the jury in USA). The list goes on.
Life should not work like this, but it does. Our genes are hardly different from humans 10,000 years ago, and political correctness was not high on the priority list back then; survival and procreation was. We are desperately trying to mold our monkey genes to conform to the boxes of concrete that we have built around us.
Long story short: yes, male programmers can feel insecure around you. For the longest time they thought that they are better than other males because they are smarter. Now they have met someone who is just as smart but also better looking. This is hard to swallow.
What to do about it?
- Be grateful to the creator if one exists that you have been dealt a better card than some and then shut up about it.
- Work hard, make sure that those who would be jealous can see that you succeed through hard work and are not using looks as a launchpad.
- Do not wear flashy clothes to the interview, and do not wear flashy clothes to work. Try to blend in, look funny perhaps.
- DO NOT flirt with your co-worker's women. That includes wifes, sisters, mothers, grandmothers. On occasion play dumb around women if you have to, although some would disagree.
- If you feel like your co-workers are too jealous, then try to move perhaps? At the same time be humble and do not build up an ego about it. You were born smart and with certain physical traits, and others were born differently. Neither intellect, height or looks is something that you achieved through hard work; you were simply given that.
- Your social circle does not have to include every last co-worker. If you feel like playing Casanova on nights and weekends, then this is your life, your right. Just be smart about it - keep work & life reasonably separate.
Remember: being a smart, handsome programmer is a good problem to have. It beats being an aids, cholera-infested malnourished child in Africa.
P.S. You aren't into guys by any chance?