Psychological problems - overcoming shyness and boredom? [closed]

Question

I have been programing for about 11 months. I've learned some things,and evaded some. I know some advanced things and I don't know some basic stuff. I easily get bored with programing when I program in a programing language I know, but it's different when I program in a new language. I like to learn to program and not to make apps, but I'd like that to change.

Also, I am not very consinstent. I start one thing and after a few days end with something that has nothing to do with the thing I started. I am also a loner and a shy person, so I try not to ask for help (stuborn?) and as time passes I lose my confidence and patience. When I visit sites that host open-source projects, I want to join some team, but it seems like everyone is using some language/tools I don't even know they existed. Is this lack of confidence or am I still a beginner?

And as I said, I try to do stuff alone, which is very often completely demotivating. So can anyone tell me how to feel more confident, how to gain willpower to join some team? If you find this question to be misplaced, don't downvote me, just tell me how to erase it or how to send it to StackExchange.

Answer 1

Wow, just relax.

I started picking C when I was 14 (I did some some Logo, when I was 6 or 7, them some Pascal in some optional projects in school).

Programming using professional environments like C or C++ when you're very young sometimes is demotivating: first, when asking really basic questions in online communities people are often flamed (I see you're afraid of downvotes! Don't be. Just keep going.) and this sucks. And second, learning how to sort a list is really boring and it seems senseless to a novice.

Just keep going. Write small projects and publish them using github and similar sites. Use codereview.stackexchange.com as a mentoring tool: post code and ask suggestions on how to improve it! Use the tools you already know to build apps. You'll learn plenty of tools as you go by learning. It's a long way. A time wil come when you're confident enough to join larger projects.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

whoa there!

First put programming aside, from what you have described you have some serious low esteem issues that you need to resolve first.

Right now your using programming as an escape, a crutch aid to get through life. This current route is destined for failure.

My advice is that you need to apply the same ruthless logic to life as you would programming.

(a) You lack confidence? -> Then do whatever the f*ck you need to get confidence

(b) You find it difficult to communicate? -> Then learn to communicate, learning human syntax is much like learning a programming language : watch, listen, observe, and practice.

(c) Re-program your self -> Change your fashion/clothes style, if you dress like a loser people will treat you like a loser. Learn to dress well, the confidence boost will help you reshape your mannerism. Its the first step, the bootstrap for all the next steps.

(d) Learn the art of social engineering, humans are very, very interesting indeed -> body language is very powerful tool, its a damn shame people never put the effort to really learn it!!!

I can say the above with confidence, because everything above I've described I've personally done.

You think the "high" you get from having power over computers (by means of programming) is something? Then that's NOTHING compared to the "high" you get from controlling people (by means of social engineering, body language etc)

Edit:

On the point of "Controlling People" I think I could have phrased it better -> Influencing people. This is very important in the world, when you have ideas, you will inevitably need others to be on board to make a change.

Answer 3

Step 1. Go to school.

Step 2. Get a job.

Step 3. Ask this question again in 5 years.

Answer 4

One of the key requirements for learning is being able to take initiatives. If you think you want to pursue developing apps, just do it! Start with something small and achievable, and then move on to bigger projects. You could begin with a project as simple as a calendar application that tells you the day when you input the date. Take that up as a challenge.

As for being shy and a loner, you've got to realize that it's the biggest roadblock in your learning process. You've got to learn from examples around you, and unless you interact, you won't get anywhere.

You'll overcome fear, gradually. Didn't you manage to come here and ask for help?

There are wonderful people at stackoverflow.com ready to help you with specific problems that you might face while coding your apps, apart from the lots of existing answers.

Answer 5

You've been programming for 11 months, you are still learning and growing.

Think of it this way: If you were to start messing around with doing carpentry, at its most basic you know any carpenter worth his salt uses a hammer and nails. Then you learn that there are different sized nails, some of which work better on different types of wood. At first you won't know this, you will use the wrong nail on the wrong type of wood and the results won't be as good as you hope for. But from your mistakes you will learn.

Eventually you will learn about an automatic power hammer! This steps you up to a whole new level and lets you do the basic tasks much quicker! Then you start learning about sawing wood, and different types of saws. Oh and don't forget that you can also get into curing and finishing wood. It will take time to learn it all

Depending on the language you use it might be easy to get demotivated especially if its a language considered to be less "easy" to pick up and write code for without a deep understanding like C++ or Haskell.

Don't get discouraged if you start a problem and don't finish it, it could in all honesty be that you don't yet have the breadth of understanding to tackle your problem. Maybe take on smaller challenges?

Open source projects can be daunting to look at. Lots of files, lots of code, no clear point as to where you start. It might take days just to sit down and read the code for some projects to get a real feel as to where everything is, don't worry this is normal. Same for the obscure tools you find people might use, it will take time to learn them all

Answer 6

Everyone has to start somewhere, always keep that in mind. Being overwhelmed when looking at a large project for the first time is, in my opinion, completely natural.

Don't forget that Open Source projects with big teams have their code public for a reason, one of them being that it's a great learning tool, and if the language and tools seem completely alien to you don't be afraid to ask where you could go to learn. Regardless of the response you will be no worse off than if you hadn't asked and in many cases come out ahead.

You've already found Stack Exchange so you're already off on the right foot, and our job here is to answer, not belittle or judge, so never be afraid to ask.

Answer 7

You are mixing both Technical & personal issues. Lets check each one.

"I like to learn to program and not to make apps, but I'd like that to change."

Mhhh, think in an app. you would like to do, a project that may interest you. For example, a programming student I had, like soccer, so we made an app. that store soccer teams, and results of soccer games.

"Also, I am not very consinstent. I start one thing and after a few days end with something that has nothing to do with the thing I started."

Having problem staying focused ?

There are several reasons not to stay focused, just been depresed in one of them. The worst part is that depression its a bad loop, people is depressed because having problem doing something right, and do things wrong because is depressed.

Like some people over here, you may want to check with a psychotherapist, thats a sign of Attention Deficit Disorder, or maybe just "procrastination", trying to avoid something you don't like.

"I am also a loner and a shy person,"

Very common among programmers, you may want to start hanging around with another "loner and shy persons", look for people with similar interests, in your city, if not, in internet, but, try to do in person. Like some particular kind of music, videogames, sports...

One more, thing, 15 or 16 years ? Well, at that age, many things in life seems difficult, to anyone, It doesn't matter what you do, you will feel everything is wrong even if you do it right, even small things.

You may want to balance your "geek" life with other stuff like been in a music band, learn to play a musical instrument, do some sport, start with individual simple sport like running or weightlifting, and later in group sports like hockey or soccer.

Sports & music cause your body to produce some substances called endorphines, that make people feel better, when depressed.

Good Luck.