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119

Here's what you do: If it's a Windows box say, "I only know how to fix Macs". If it's a Mac say, "I only know how to fix PCs". If it's a Linux box say, "You're a Linux user... fix it yourself!"


90

Here's a win-win: I have a 12-year old son, so I tell people that my son will fix their computer for $20-$25. Then I tell them to bring the computer over. I help my son resolve the problem. He learns a little more about computers, makes a few bucks, and has some "job experience". Folks don't mind paying a kid for something they'd expect for free from me. ...


75

You plan to work on this for two weeks. So do you actually have a plan? For example "I am going to put together the ui, connect the event handlers using mocks/stubs for the data part, test all that, write the data part, ...". Or if you're TDD, which tests you're going to write and which pieces of the puzzle will stay mocked the longest. I think your boss ...


45

It's better to pretend you don't know anything about computers. WHY? Check out here.


35

I actually have two hierarchies that govern who and to what extent I will help: Relationship to Person Parents: Just fix it. I owe them that, and then some. Siblings: Fix it, expecting a modest favour in return (dinner/pizza/etc.) Friends/Relatives: They bring the machine to me, along with booze, and entertain me for the duration. Bartering is also ...


31

Listen to 'Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta' by Geto Boys and imagine that you are smashing a printer.


31

Tell them, it is like asking a psychiatrist to do a brain surgery.


29

As pointed out in a comment by SK-Logic, there is some scientific evidence to back this up. From wikipedia's article on night owls: Researchers have found that 'differences in a fundamental property of the circadian timing system, its intrinsic period, will determine whether someone is an early bird, who awakens before dawn or a night owl, who ...


28

Caffeine is a major cause of the problem, not the solution. It might seem to work in the short-term but it makes things worse overall by interfering with your sleep. If you don't sleep properly you will be tired and unfocused. If you try to solve that with a high caffeine intake you won't sleep properly. Exercise, eat well, try to restrict the coffee to ...


27

I just ask them to clean my shower in exchange: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2006-02-01/


25

I would be careful not confuse Lazy Programmers with Dumb Programmers... for example, a lazy programmer might write a 200 line utility to generate 1,000 lines of code for him. or to do a repetitive task. from the book ProgrammingPerl (1st edition): Laziness: The quality that makes you go to great effort to reduce overall energy expenditure. It makes you ...


24

I usually take a walk around the block. The fresh air and actual physical activity calms me down and lets me get rid of any adrenaline.


21

Say you'll fix their computer. Then open their temporary internet files folder and then look totally shocked when you discover the obligatory hardcore porn images that are bound to be there. They probably will be too ashamed to ever ask again... :)


20

If you can't get in touch with the developers, then contact SourceForge. Report the problem, give them detailed information they can use to verify the issue, and they'll (probably) take it down. They're a reputable site and I imagine they wouldn't want to be associated with malware.


19

Suggest that you have daily update meetings first thing in the morning. In these you will tell him what you did yesterday, what you hope to achieve and what (if anything) is causing a hold up. He can tell you the latest sales/marketing news and if there are any changes to the plan. This is basically an agile/scrum meeting. If he knows this is happening he ...


18

You can't. Anyone with half a brain could put on a show and appear perfectly employable. What you can try is: Using that interviewing technique where you ask the candidate a question and keep telling them they're wrong. See how they react and respond to this pressure. Ensure necessary disciplinary are present and sustained for unruly behaviour once they ...


18

Be wary though. While working at night, you might get things done because of the calmness of mind and lack of interactions but even though I am a night owl myself, I find that my brain does not function as well at night. I am definitely not as quick and innovative. Working at night also has the unfortunate side effects of not sleeping enough. Your brain ...


17

There is a little difference between what I do and what I should do. What I do (not so bad): stop programming, make a pause. What I should do (better): take a nap. It is impressive how a difficult problem solve himself after a nap.


17

Like it or not, you have to make exceptions for family members, in the end they're family, right? When it comes to other people I used to invent some kind of excuse. Anything from "I'm extremely busy at the moment" to not answering their phone calls. The problem isn't helping them it's 1) you help them once and afterwards you're their official tech support ...


16

Eventually if I wear this often enough , people get the hint ;-)


16

Being a programmer means you have to be very concerned about details, because small things such as forgetting to write "=<" instead of "<" could produce very different effects. So I believe programmers are very picky about details in general; noticing spelling errors is just a side-effect. Also, spelling errors can also lead to problems with ...


14

First, try to prevent yourself from being drowsy: Sit up straight so you breathing is not restricted. Drink plenty of water Stay away from sugar & greasy food If I feel drowsy anyway, I will: Listen to fast music Get up & get my body moving (usually a brisk walk & I get some air) Go somewhere cold (if possible) the cold usually wakes me up ...


14

First understand that "I'm on it" is the worst thing you can say. It indicates that you don't want to tell him what you have done and to his mind that means you haven't done anything. Often managers have good reason to feel this way as that is exactly the phrase that bad employees use when they are trying to avoid telling the boss they are stuck or don't ...


13

Try to implement a code review team. It sounds like this programmer was working solo on a project with no team interaction. I'd try to encourage a more team-based workflow so that he can't just stomp over everything and then leave it on your door.


13

Between the blabbering about Lady Gaga to how much someone had to drink the night before, much of the noise at work drives me nuts. I had a chance to try out an open house event at a coworking location. In the 'quiet' room, the other person in there slurped their coffee, allowed their nose to run and managed to make noise eating oatmeal (I know HTF do you do ...


13

Its not necessarily the time of night that makes the developers more productive... The night time gives a calm and silent ambiance for the thoughts to get a free flow in the mind and which is very essential while programming. Less distractions! Just not having the phone ring, solicitors selling cookies, the reduction of emails, and less chatter pays ...


12

coffee soda music take breaks and walk around slap self in face stab thigh with ballpoint pen in extreme circumstances: just get a good night's sleep


12

I ask them to clean my house. No one has accepted yet.



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